My Personal Pharmacy

My benefits at work are great - I'm not going to even try to pretend the medical coverage for the cost of procedures isn't competitive. However, prescription coverage is unfortunate. As most insurance companies, IVF procedures aren't covered - it is $15,000 after all for just 1 shot at it. But at least they could cover the medicines to help get us there! I've got a total of 44 shots lined up over the next 4 weeks; some I have to mix myself, some are refrigerated, some are in kits. Either way, I have my own personal cash-bought pharmacy that is supposed to send my body into turmoil the next few weeks. The drugs I'm on are called:

• Lupron (it's supposed to suppress my ovaries and put them in "resting" phase so the stimulants can really kick in. The nurse said I will feel like I'm going through menopause)
• Gonal-F (it's a stimulant to excite my eggs)
• Menopur (another stimulant to excite my eggs and mature >1 in the cycle)
• HCG (this is the "trigger shot" to mature the eggs right before extraction)
• Crinone (this is pure progesterone - so much is lost during the IVF process that the womb physically could not support a pregnancy without it).

once I picked up all of these medicines, it really hit that this is REALLY happening. When you have your own personal 'Sharps Disposal' box and you understand the different gauges of needles in syringes, you know it's for real.

So day 1 of the shots - terrified out of my mind to give myself an injection. Todd and I were going to wake up early and he was going to be the strong man to make sure we didn't wimp out. After a back and forth of about 5 minutes of "you do it", "no you do it", 'no i can't do it, you do it" i finally said OK and took a deep breath and stuck myself. And you know what? It was NOTHING! I felt nothing, it didn't hurt, it didn't bleed, it didn't sting. Totally doable and now it's second nature to stick a needle in my belly.  If you're interested in seeing someone do it, do a YouTube search for a girl doing a "Lupron Injection".

Side effects after 1 week of shots? Nothing really yet. I've had a terrible headache for 4 days straight but no hot flashes yet, no mood swings (although I'm moody enough on my own...). I'm waiting for this misery to kick on that I keep reading about on other blogs but as of yet I've just gained about 6 pounds. So other than being miserable about weight, I'm hanging in there. But there's another 22 days of shots to go...when I get home from travels I will take a picture of my pharmacy so you can really appreciate the process. Every time I look at the boxes of medicine I can't help but think of the miracles of modern medicine and how fortunate Todd and I are that we can financially handle this journey and also emotionally handle the journey. It can be overwhelming to look at and think about - staying cool is key to success.