Most Frequently Asked Questions

Since I'd seen so many people this past week at a training conference that I haven't seen since November I got a lot of really good questions...here's the most common/best ones I've gotten:

1. Are you going to have more after this? Wow, really? I hope we can survive with these two! I cannot say now if we will have more - but I won't say no yet! When Todd and I got married he wanted 4, I wanted 2 so we settled on 3. Then we said we'd be happy with 1 through InVitro. So we'll see how the first 2 years go with these babies before we decide on more!
2. Are you going to go back to work? Yes! These babies need food, diapers, and college funds! I enjoy working, I enjoy who I work with. I hope to be able to return to work in the same capacity that I have now. I feel like a bad mom to say I know that I want to go back to work, but I think it's more of a numbers game and financially it's necessary. I am planning on taking my 12-weeks FMLA and then todd will take his 12-weeks unpaid FMLA afterwards so we will have a good amount of time before we have  to put them in daycare. 
3. Are you having any weird cravings or aversions? I loved weird food before so I can't say I'm having any weird cravings. Nothing like pickles dipped in ice cream or weird stuff like that. The only craving I can really remember is V-8 in the first trimester. Couldn't get enough of that stuff, and now it's back to being a disgusting drink. I've always had an insane sweet tooth so the chocolate eating cannot be attributed to that. 
4. How else are you feeling? Honestly, I feel great. I am not as tired as I was first trimester, I never had morning sickness, I don't think I'm having mood swings (you'll have to ask Todd on that!). I do have mental lows I wouldn't call depression but I do feel really down sometimes that requires me to just come home and go to sleep. But physically I'm feeling good. 
5. Can you feel them kicking? Every now and then yes I can! The doctor said I have an "anterior placenta" which means the babies are growing on the side furthest from my belly button. Not a bad position, just where they are. So it may take a little longer to feel them since they have to go through the placenta, the uterus, the muscle, and the extra padding I had to start out with. I can feel them from the inside, sometimes I can feel a kick on the outside. Todd still hasn't been fortunate enough to catch them in action. 
6. How is Todd dealing with this? Todd would carry these babies if he could! He's nesting, he's shopping, he's researching, he's singing to my belly. Just absolutely stoked, the next 12-14 weeks will be the hardest of his life! He's usually not the impatient one in the relationship. 
7. Do you have family around to help? Todd's side of the family all lives within 30 minutes which is great, and there are already lots of children so there's "experts" around to ask questions to and get help. I haven't been the greatest at the family-bonding but I know that nobody wants to see unhappy or unhealthy babies so they will be in good hands. And although my side of the family is all over, I know that they will be praying for us everyday, calling to check in, and coming down whenever they can which is more than we can ask for. And of course there are some really great friends that we have here too that are all excited for babies (probably they are most excited that they aren't the ones having the babies...). 
8. Are you going to nurse? Heck yes for a couple of reasons! First, health benefits both for me and the babies. If I can shed the pounds faster while helping provide nutrients to my babies there is no doubt. Second, financially much cheaper to buy bottle liners and a pump than $35 formula that will last a week! Lastly, my lady lumps are huge...God better have given me these for a purposeful reason!    
9. Are you keeping your dogs? My dogs are my first babies, of course they will stay. My dogs have very good temperament when they are around familiar things. They are protective and playful dogs, I have no doubt in my mind that they will be fabulous at cleaning up after messes, providing entertainment, and sniffing out poopy diapers. It will be hard keeping them quiet and under control but they are family. I think MacGyver knows there are babies growing in my belly. He's been very protective of me lately (won't play outside with Todd if I'm still inside) and he'll lay on the couch and lay his head on my stomach. He's very gentle around me, he's a smart cookie. 
10. Are multiples common in your family? Remember, not everyone knows our IVF adventure...so it's a very valid question for those that don't know the science behind our babies. I've answered differently depending on who it is. Of course the answer is always "No, we're the first!"; sometimes if the conversation lasts longer I'll divulge that "science helped us" and that usually ends the conversation too. At least the question isn't right off the bat, "did you conceive naturally"? 
11. Are you going to deliver naturally?  I'm going to do whatever the doctors recommend. It's not guaranteed we'll have a C-section, it all depends on how big they are, how they are positioned, etc. I'm not a crazy hippie that wants to feel all of the pain - regardless I will be heavily drugged whether I'm pushing or they're pulling them out.

More Surprise Blessings

I've popped out! Up until this week I didn't think I looked pregnant - I don't know if it was seeing so many people that I haven't seen in awhile and seeing their reactions and they ingrained in my brain that I am pregnant, or I've really physically popped out, (or if I've over-eaten and I've got a food-baby in there as well) but there's no more outfits that don't consist of stretchy maternity pants...which by the way are awesome, I don't think I'll ever want to wear pants with buttons again, why do that when I can feel like I'm wearing sweatpants all of the time?!?

This week was a long one - hard work, lots of brain and patience testing work...so coming home at night was the high light of my day. Tuesday night I get home around 8:30 and there is a huge box that has our double stroller sitting in the living room! I give Todd a lot of credit for not opening that box and playing with the stroller...but I read the card and it was from my friend (who is also expecting, 1 month before us) and it just made my day. Very unexpected, very appreciated. I practiced setting it up, collapsing it, pushing it around. It's huge, and it's like pushing around a limo but I think we definitely made the right choice with the stroller we chose - a front-to back stroller. Thank you my dear friend PJL! Do we look like naturals or what? (And my dogs are too big to fit in and try it out, sorry)

So then the work week continued, we had a group dinner on Thursday night. I was grumpy, I was tired, I was very tempted to skip dinner and go home sick, officially pull the "i'm pregnant and not feeling well" card for the first time in the pregnancy. But I didn't and it was a good thing because my scheming co-workers had put together a surprise shower to go along with dinner! Another unexpected, completely appreciated, and speechless experience. After opening the presents I was just staring at the gifts in the restaurant in amazement, shocked, and thinking "OMG this is really happening!" Not only was there a group gift of the two infant carriers but there were also even more gifts. I went home with a full car. Coincidentally I got the stroller earlier in the week so I could practice putting the carriers in them and taking them out! I got to practice with the real deal. Thank you to my GLN working team, even though we rarely see each other I feel very fortunate to have all of the support.

Conversation at dinner was around if I was feeling emotional or had cravings - to which I said I didn't have anything major...but when I got home I started bawling! I don't deserve this kind of fabulous treatment, what have I done to get two babies, a fabulous husband, and a loving network of support!?

Now that we're getting some things and stocking up on diapers each time we grocery shop - I need to figure out where we're going to store all of this stuff! We put pieces together in the baby room but now I need to think about storage shelving or bins/baskets to organize all of these new baby essentials. Some pictures of the baby room painted in our Beach theme...need to get the pictures on the wall but here's what we're working with:

Before the cribs came in

Nice painting and chair rail, Todd!

Two cribs really fill up this small room...

Haven't decided if the chair will stay. And imagine the room with the curtains my mom is "thinking about" making :)

Handy man Todd building the cribs

Macy saying "what are these things that you won't let me lick, mom?"

I think that catches me up on pictures for awhile...we go to the doc for a regular check-up visit early Monday morning; take the measurements, get on the scale, and hear the heartbeats. 24 weeks...the babies could be here in 12 short weeks which boggles my mind - seems like a long way away but time is flying. On a final note, Google has updated their Blogger software and I can see statistics and such...since starting the blog there has been 2,913 views - and 4 this morning before I woke up and started writing. Whether it's mistakes or duplicates or random browser searches...whew! Burchie's feel 'da love :)

Weekends of Progress

Exciting times in the Burchell household, lots of great progress was made and I'm feeling really great. I still have my down mood but there's so much to be thankful for that I really cannot be upset and I shouldn't let the downers get to me because Todd and I are just so incredibly blessed.

We've hit 22 weeks today - the comparison from The Bump is the length of a Papaya; the comparison from Baby Center is the length  of a spaghetti squash. Since I've been electing the greens in the past, we chose to take a picture with the big Papayas. It's a little deceiving - it is the length of the Papaya, not the full size! And the babies are all curled up in a tight little ball not stretched out like a Papaya...but still starting to get unbelievable. Babies are nearly 11 inches long each and just shy of 1 pound each. They should start growing rapidly now - we have 15 weeks left, if that...

Over Easter weekend we were surprised and we both survived our first baby shower! Thanks to my terrific family up in Wisconsin for making such a surprise and memorable day. Mom and dad did a great job lying...over EASTER WEEKEND too - the holiest week of all my mom pulls a fast one on us! The theme was perfect, of course Disney. Just an unbelievable amount of support that came our way and really touched our hearts and made me feel so undeserving of that kind of planning and attention. A few pictures from the party:

The dessert table. Yummy!

Beach Minnie and Mickey! (And the cake had a pudding filling...to die for!)

Mickey cake pops, and mickey rice crispy treats. Creativity at it's finest!

  Around the house we've also been very productive preparing for babies...well, Todd has not me. He finished painting the babies room this weekend - the chair rails are up, the floor boards are painted, the ceiling (where I did a poor trim job) has been fixed. Next step is to hang pictures and move in furniture. We also purchased cribs this weekend. Babies R Us we've found had the most affordable options for cribs, and we went in with our 20% coupons ready to be discounted. There was actually a better deal going on so we were able to purchase 2 brand new cribs and a changing table for $500. So this will pretty much take up the entire room now...

 Finally, we also officially registered at Target and Buy Buy Baby. Not that we're expecting or asking for gifts, but it doubled as a very useful exercise to go through to really think about what you need for a baby, forces you to research brands, and forces you to think about how to really take care of babies once they are home. I think we went a little overboard with the scanner but what do we really know yet? I'm sure we'll have a new perspective once we go to our baby classes in May and June.   Tonight is also my first night at Tampa Bay Mothers of Multiples so I'm excited to see how that goes and start seeing how twins are really managed.

20 Weeks, lots to share

Time is flying by, it's helpful to have a job that keeps me busy and keeps my mind (and stomach) off of baby extravaganza. Todd and I made more progress in the house - we narrowed down the stroller and carseats we're going to get, we painted the room, Todd cut chair rails as well. It will look very cute, I'm very excited to have a newly decorated room. Still hasn't quite hit me yet that there will be babies in there in 4 months but the room is cute :)

I'm a little behind in my posts so for 19 weeks pregnant our fruit was the MANGO! Todd requested a side shot to show there's a belly growing. And yes, it feels weird every week taking a picture in the produce department and people always look at me like I'm crazy.

For the 20 week picture, we are officially measuring head to foot (previously it was head to rump) so they are both 10.5 inches long which is the size of BANANAS and each baby weighs about 2/3 pound. I must I dont quite see how these bananas really make sense, you would think i'd be much bigger if i'm holding bananas in my belly.

I'm just feeling fat. There's no other way to explain it - I don't feel pregnant, I'm not with the cute "baby bump"...no, I think I just look fat. Maybe once the babies push out past my current belly I'll feel different but I'm mentally not feeling good about how I look. Which makes it even more frustrating when people touch my stomach. It feels to me like people walk up and are jiggling the belly, not feeling the babies since I don't see it. I don't know of a nice way to tell people to not approach me - there are people that it's like a target they hone in on as soon as they see me. I don't even let Todd touch my belly at home anymore, he's learned to ask if it's OK first. Todd recommended carrying a bag or a sweater and always have my arms crossed...then there's the option of wearing a t-shirt that says "I don't come up and grab your belly, give me the same courtesy"..but that's sassy.

I don't know if this is normal but I'm just really grumpy about being pregnant right now. I don't like people touching me, I don't like people asking me how I'm feeling especially if I just saw them yesterday, I don't want oodles of advice on diapers or sleeping patterns when I'm not asking for it. I just don't want to talk about it since I'm not feeling any different. Maybe it'll catch up with me and I'll wish I did pay attention to the advice or the stories but right now I'm just indifferent and going on with my normal life with the exception of shopping or room decorating. I don't want to be treated differently or have every conversation revolve around the babies. Hopefully it's just a phase, maybe when I "feel" pregnant it will change and the motherhood instinct will kick in. Or I'll just wait it out until I have one baby in each arm on the operating table and it will kick in then.
 
We did find out the sexes to try to kickstart that motherly vibe, I thought if I knew what they were it would help me connect with them. It did...for a few days. Then I thought if I started telling people then their excitement would bounce onto me so we started telling a select few...and that worked...for a few days. So then I thought if I told more people then it would really sink in...and that worked...for only a few hours. I'm just waiting for that lightning bolt "AHA" moment where I feel like a mother of twins and that realization that it's only 4 months away. What are we having? One of each!

 On a different note, my dogs are great and they keep me energized every day. Macy is quite a handful but she's just the sweetest pup and really loves her mommy and wants to cuddle all of the time. I think they'll adjust to the babies really well - MacGyver will be the official "house protector" and attend to every cry and little noise the babies make. Macy will be the "hoover" and lick everything up that the babies spill and then lick their faces to make them giggle. And she'll probably play with all of their toys too and want to cuddle in their blankets. Builds the babies allergy tolerance early I guess.

Next appointment is Tuesday 4/3 for a general 20-week check up...weight check (ugggg), measurement, heartbeats, and Q&A. Anticipating an uneventful check up but there's officially less time than we started with and these appointments should get more interesting. 



Mothers Know Best

This past weekend was fabulous (and food-filled!). My parents were able to make it down to Florida, first time we’ve seen them since Christmas so it was nice. I don’t remember my dad loving buffets and food variety so much, but Friday night was buffet, Saturday was a BBQ meat-fest, and Sunday was another buffet! Needless to say, I think the doctor will be please with my weight gain next time we go! Last week the food to compare the babies to was a turnip – I don’t know what a turnip looks like and I don’t think Publix carried them so I waited until this week when the vegetable was BELL PEPPER (just in length, not in total size!) To avoid this picture looking like the avocado or the lime I went with yellow peppers for a little differentiation.

Mom was a huge help this past weekend helping me to calm down and set realistic expectations about what we needed. I had doubts that furniture would fit in the room, thinking I needed more furniture than we do, overwhelmed by the options and variety at the baby stores, and just mentally exhausted with too many options. I think mom was overwhelmed too at Babies R Us – she kept saying how much things have changed and there are too many options. Mom put some good things in perspective, and she left with a homework assignment to sew some very cute curtains for the room:

1.       Babies won’t really need a formal “dresser” in their room. Baby clothes are so tiny, and they can be hung or stacked. For things that need drawers, the Tupperware ones will work just fine in a closet. Save space and be practical.

2.       Full-size cribs will be safer and last longer than the mini-cribs. I doubted that 2 full-size cribs will fit in the room, but now that I’m no longer thinking about a dresser they will both fit fine. Mom said that I was able to crawl out of my crib at 9 months old and we would jump and climb all over the inside so the bigger it is it may be better.

3.       Register for what we will need immediately when we get home from the hospital and don’t think about all of the extra peripherals.

4.       What kind of stroller would you REALLY be comfortable pushing around most places? When I think of strollers and when I’m going to use them the first and pretty much only thing I think is “how will this stroller work at Disney”. There are SO many more places that I will be using a stroller outside of Disney!!

5.       Babies aren’t going to know if they’re “deprived” of anything fancy…as long as they are fed, comfortable, and changed they won’t know if they have the fancy swing or the regular swing, if they are sleeping in a crib or a play yard.

I still have a few things I’m meddling over if they are “necessities” or “nice to have” or even which option:

• First is a play-yard with a bassinet. Do babies need bassinet, or can you get a padded positioner and swaddle them so they feel tight and safe? 
•   Strollers for two – side by side or back to front? Once the kids are sitting up I would always feel bad for the kid in the back who has no view of anything except the back of the other kid’s head (again, thinking of Disney the kid on the front can see everything and the kid in the back gets nothing). But, the tandem strollers are much easier to fit through doorways and have better storage compartments so practicality of a tandem stroller is much better. 
•    Bottles – so many kinds and brands. And are the drop-in ones still relevant? I think the convenience of that sounds great – to not have to wash bottles and just throw away the liners rather than washing out 10 bottles a day? And can you just put bottles in the dishwasher or do you need those fancy sterilizers? 

•  Car Seats – SO many options at a huge variety of price ranges! I know Tampa General will give us a free one but there’s no guarantee to which brand/type it will be so we don’t know if it will fit into a stroller. So, should we purchase the infant car seats with the infant stroller; then 6 months later have to purchase 2 more car seats and a completely different stroller?  That’s $700 right there in car seats and strollers.

On a different note – I’m very proud of myself for some huge strides this past week. I registered for ALL of the baby classes we wanted to take (CPR/First Aid, Caring for Newborns, Labor & Delivery, Hospital Tour, Breastfeeding), I signed up for MOMS (Mothers of Multiples) with the hopes there is a yard sale or some good information on what we need, and I bought my very first pack of diapers at the grocery store! I combined a store coupon, competitor coupon, and manufacturing coupon and got a package of Huggies diapers originally $10.99 for $3.49 PLUS a free pack of Huggies Wipes. That’s a steal, I was excited. And Todd patiently waited as I gathered my coupons and proudly handed my stack to the checker.

We go to get an “anatomy sonogram” on Friday. Making sure the babies have heartbeats, two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, and we’ll also quite possibly find out the genders (and keep it between us) because this is the longest pregnancy ever and I just want to know something more than their heartbeats!

A few forgotten nuggets...

I can't believe I forgot these nuggets in my last post! Something else I learned from the Multiples class was that the reason that babies have opposite schedules of their mother's when they are first born is because when they are in the womb during the day is when I'm walking around, getting up, and the womb makes a "swaying" motion like a cradle putting them to sleep. When you sit down or lay down for bed is when it is still so it no longer has them sleeping, they think it's time to play! I never put those two thoughts together but I thought it was pretty interesting. Maybe that "waddling pregnant lady" thing has something to it, we are making a natural swing for them inside.

The second nugget is that Dr Lynch has a very excellent track record of predicting babies prior to their birth. She even predicts in the womb with multiples each one, not just "one boy and 2 girls" but "baby A is this, Baby B is this, Baby C is this". So, of course yesterday after she measured and listened to the heartbeat she was very certain that Baby A (on the left side, closest to the cervix) is a boy. Unquestionable she said that it would be a boy. Baby B (on the right side, sitting higher) she thinks may be a girl but she is not as certain on that one. Her nurse said it would be 2 girls, but Dr Lynch quickly corrected her and told her there was 1 boy in there for sure. So, we may have a purple situation growing in my belly.

And, Todd and I finalized our top baby boy name and top baby girl name yesterday at dinner. They are fantastic. And they are staying in our heads until the babies are here :)

Avocados!

March 6th has come and gone...that was the date of our next baby appointment. It's disappointing to go for these check-ups, I anticipate so much more excitement and really the doctor talked to us, measured my belly, listened to the heart beats, and sent us on our merry way. I don't know what I was expecting - but there isn't a whole lot of fanfare that goes with check up appointments. What she did say (that I was very surprised to hear) is that I haven't gained enough weight! Since the new year I've gained 7 pounds, which is pretty much just the 1st trimester. I thought that was a lot, I don't think there's really any reason to gain weight in the first trimester at all. And considering my eating roller coaster I'm surprised that it is only 7 pounds! Doctor recommended that I should be grazing all of the time, and eating "smart" foods - fruits and veggies are good, but I need to pack on the protein and calories so she recommended lots of milk, cheese, Ensure, peanut butter, etc. I don't know what she's talking about, I don't see how I only gained 7 pounds when none of my old pants fit and my bras are all way too tiny. She shouldn't worry...that weight will all pack on very shortly...

This week's fruit was AVACADOS. Looks surprisingly like the limes picture but they are different!

We also went to our first baby prep class - Preparing for Multiples. Again, kind of disappointed, not sure what my expectations were. I was hoping it would be a full class, meeting other young moms, networking...there were 2 couples in there including the Burchie's. The other couple in the room was a very nice domestic partnership couple who also went through USF IVF to have their babies; nice ladies, just not people that I think we'll be lifelong friends since they were a bit older than we were and lived over the bridge. We did get some good nuggets of knowledge that I didn't know regarding Tampa General Hospital and how they deliver multiples:

• Multiples are guaranteed the bigger rooms (YESS!!!). They have small rooms, and then they have the larger rooms and multiples are guaranteed to have the larger private rooms on the 4th floor of the women's center. during the general TGH tour of the hospital they only show the small rooms to set people's expectations but not for us!
• Multiples always deliver in an operating room, even if it's not a C-Section. Just in case there is a complication they like to have the OR ready to quickly retrieve the babies.  So, VERY glad to hear that because that means it will be guaranteed to ONLY be me and Todd in the room when the babies come out :) No audience for me.  And, there will be a nice peaceful recovery time for me alone in the OR with the babies alone for a good hour while they sew me up. I get really excited and even get the chills when I think that perhaps our babies can be delivered in the exact same O.R. that they were implanted in!! Retrieved, concieved, implanted, and delivered all in the same room would be the coolest story ever.
• We saw a video of C-Section. Remarkable. And of course, Todd cringed so we know he will only be on the front side of the sheet and not anywhere near the delivery area. If it's a planned C-Section I can skip all of that back pain, heavy breathing, water breaking nonsense of labor which would also be awesome. The recovery would just really suck. And with a planned c-section it takes longer for the milk to come in unforunately so that is another downside to it.
• The nurse gave some really good advice regarding some home preparations for us to consider. for example, instead of buying infant bath tubs and having to bend down to give a bath after a c-section, she said the kitchen sink works great and it will be easier on my abdomen. (Just have to get the dirty dishes washed first...) I wouldn't have even thought about the pain of that.
• For a shower, if people don't want to give a gift they can give an alternate gift of "their time" and have a sign-up to bring over dinner or offer to do a chore for us one night after the babies are born. Isn't that a clever idea?
• Bed rest before delivery is almost guaranteed (Noooo!!).
• Babies get into their "routine" after about 2-3 months. Which, of course, is convenient for Todd and not me. The plan is for me to take my 12-weeks leave to care for the babies and then Todd would take an unpaid 12-weeks afterwards to care for them so we do not have to have child care services until 5 months old. Of cousre the babies will be in a nice routine by the time I go back to work...
• Most importantly, she emphasized that a postive attitude will lead to a positive pregnancy. Multiples pregnancy can be more difficult, but that is only if you think it will be difficult.

We have been productive around the house - we emptied out the front bedroom so it is ready to be transformed into a nursery. That was a big step to figure out how everything will fit in a small room. Hopefully the space constraints will prevent us from accumulating too much crap that we don't really need. Next big step is to think about registering and what we actually need. Any advice on what is "required" to have for newborns??